I recently lost a sister in-law due to chemo. complications, it is just so sad to realize how little people know about cancer and it's treatment. A life has been lost, that could have probably been saved.
About three months ago my sister in-law was complaining of swelling legs. She started going to a private doctor; after 3 three weeks there was no improvement. She started having sores from the swelling. We all advised her to seek a second opinion. Her new doctor gave her a new prescription, she was getting it through an IV weekly. This was to go on for 7 weeks. She is in Zambia and i am here, in New York, I am trying to find out what kind of medicine she getting because it was draining her for at least 3 days after taking it. I wanted to find out what the side effects were. She was going to text me the name of the medicine. I forgot about it, she sounded ok, my sister and brother both assured me she was doing fine.
After six weeks of the treatment, i spoke with her . She was jovial, she only had to take one more treatment and she was done, little did i know that will be the last time we will ever talk. About a week after we talked i got a phone call that she had died. She had complained of being feverish, after which my brother took her to the hospital. This was close to midnight, it was discovered that she anemic and was advised to have a blood transfusion which declined. As soon my brother left the hospital, she was convinced to take the blood. When my brother went to see her in the morning she seemed fine but when visiting hour was over she asked him not to leave. She also asked him to help her go to the bathroom, she could not walk by herself. This didn't seem right to him because the previous night she was walking by herself. As soon as he got her off the bed water started coming out of her nose and that was it, she was dead.
There were many unanswered questions, her doctor told my brother that she literally had no blood , she almost had nothing it was a miracle that she even came in walking. He had never mentioned cancer when treating her, but now he was explaining how wide spread her cancer had been. He said he had tried his best to save her life. Never mentioned to them what kind of treatment she was receiving or the side effects. Yes, i am mad at myself, because i tried to be diplomatic and not ask too many question.
My sister in-law didn't English, she was fluent in Swahili so was her doctor. My brother speaks a little bit of Swahili and she spoke broken bemba which is our mother tongue. Was there a communication breakdown? The doctor speaks English and bemba as well so does my brother.
We have relatives who are already screaming AIDS because of how badly scared her legs were and her hair was thinning out. I am here trying to comfort brother and explain the side effects of chemo to these people, there comments and acknowledgement seems to be like whatever, he needs to get tested. Of course she was tested that's the first thing done, but cancer is real and chemotherapy is lethal if the right procedures are not followed.
SD: AIDS/HIV is not the only killer in Africa, ignorance might have a lot to do with a lot of deaths.
RIP sis, will take care of your daughter.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
18 Lbs Down, 2 More To Go
Eleven months ago i decided i was going to drop 20 lbs in six months. I started going to the gym, did that faithfully for two months but i realized this was not the way i was going to live my life. I had to be realistic, if i wanted results and this to be part of my llife and not seasonal i had to do something about. it So i stopped going to the gym, by this time i was seeing and feeling the results. I didn't seem to lose much, but my clothes started getting bigger each passing week.
I just had to make a few changes here and there, i wasn't too big, i just wanted to stay healthy and keep it that way. I am a picky eater, over eating or eating junk food are not my problems. i don't smoke, don't drink sodas and i like caffeine free drinks only. I had not touched coffee in 14 yrs. My problem is not eating enough, i will skip meals, I have worked on this. My biggest problem is not having enough sleep, i usually do five hrs max, and i will be automatically up. My schedule is crazy; i have splits, to overnights and three 4-pm. I did overnights for over a year, this is when i realized i gained weight alot. My break is at 2 am and i would order penne pasta with chicken and spinach in some yummy garlicky butter sauce. After work i wouldn't go to sleep right away, i just carried on like i didn't have to work in the night, i would just nap for maybe three hours. And on the days that i would actually sleep i would not eat the whole day. I am not eating that pasta anymore. I try to get as much rest as i can when ever possible.
Now that i don't go to the gym, i try to walk as much i can. I have a Ton Little gazelle, 5 lbs ankle and wrist weights, dumb bells , 3D ABS and my favorite EA active Wii game. I try to learn about food as much as i can, understanding what you are putting in your body is a big step to losing weight or just staying healthy. When i look at a 300 calorie bag of chips, packed with sodium and saturated fats....................i ask my if it's really worth it, i turn around and grab an apple instead which is more filling. I still indulge but moderation is the key. More later.....
I just had to make a few changes here and there, i wasn't too big, i just wanted to stay healthy and keep it that way. I am a picky eater, over eating or eating junk food are not my problems. i don't smoke, don't drink sodas and i like caffeine free drinks only. I had not touched coffee in 14 yrs. My problem is not eating enough, i will skip meals, I have worked on this. My biggest problem is not having enough sleep, i usually do five hrs max, and i will be automatically up. My schedule is crazy; i have splits, to overnights and three 4-pm. I did overnights for over a year, this is when i realized i gained weight alot. My break is at 2 am and i would order penne pasta with chicken and spinach in some yummy garlicky butter sauce. After work i wouldn't go to sleep right away, i just carried on like i didn't have to work in the night, i would just nap for maybe three hours. And on the days that i would actually sleep i would not eat the whole day. I am not eating that pasta anymore. I try to get as much rest as i can when ever possible.
Now that i don't go to the gym, i try to walk as much i can. I have a Ton Little gazelle, 5 lbs ankle and wrist weights, dumb bells , 3D ABS and my favorite EA active Wii game. I try to learn about food as much as i can, understanding what you are putting in your body is a big step to losing weight or just staying healthy. When i look at a 300 calorie bag of chips, packed with sodium and saturated fats....................i ask my if it's really worth it, i turn around and grab an apple instead which is more filling. I still indulge but moderation is the key. More later.....
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Life: Gay Vs Straight Parents
Life: Gay Vs Straight Parents: "This is touchy but i will still put in my 2 cents.....should gay and straight couples have the same adoption rights? I have a gay friend wh..."
Gay Vs Straight Parents
This is touchy but i will still put in my 2 cents.....should gay and straight couples have the same adoption rights? I have a gay friend whose is trying to adopt, he lives in a state that allows gay parents to adopt. He can adopt a kid from other states even though those states don't allow adoption by gay couples residing there. He is a very sweet person and i know he and his partner will make good parents. Gay parent have a hard time to adopt and they have go through extra screening...
Getting back to my question , I think a parent is one that nurtures and loves a child, and provides the necessities, such as food, water, clothing and shelter that a person requires to survive.
Be the judge, if a person has the above qualities then they should able to adopt.
Getting back to my question , I think a parent is one that nurtures and loves a child, and provides the necessities, such as food, water, clothing and shelter that a person requires to survive.
Be the judge, if a person has the above qualities then they should able to adopt.
How Far Should A Woman Submit.......
A woman has to be submissive....this is in the bible, also embraced by many cultures. Times are changing and so is the world. How far should should a woman submit?
Remember these are just my sentiments; you can easily talk about almost anything with your friends, co-workers, family etc. AIDS will be the last topic people will want to bring up, married people especially because they feel that this implies problems in their relationships. Married couples should be comfortable to discuss safe sex without straining the relationship or second guessing each other.
HIV/AIDS can be acquired in may different ways other than sexually, your partner is likely to tell you about it if they contracted it through a hospital accident than if it was through drug use or having multiple partners.
Men carry or suggest the use of condoms without being labeled anything, when women do the same they have a name for them. Women in third world countries have it even harder because of the cultural and traditional beliefs.
All i am trying to say is that, lets us change with time and be realistic. Encourage and educate each other about practicing safe sex and stop stigmatising people that are trying to make positive changes, especially women. HIV/AIDS does not have a special selection of who contracts it. If you have respect for human life, you will practice safe sex and avoid knowingly transmitting the virus. Get tested before deciding to get pregnant. If you are pregnant make sure you get medical care. Women be careful of someone who refuses to use protection and also as much as it will bother you if a long time partner suggests using condoms be appreciative, remember this person cares for you and is probably saving your life.
*Do not judge others.
Remember these are just my sentiments; you can easily talk about almost anything with your friends, co-workers, family etc. AIDS will be the last topic people will want to bring up, married people especially because they feel that this implies problems in their relationships. Married couples should be comfortable to discuss safe sex without straining the relationship or second guessing each other.
HIV/AIDS can be acquired in may different ways other than sexually, your partner is likely to tell you about it if they contracted it through a hospital accident than if it was through drug use or having multiple partners.
Men carry or suggest the use of condoms without being labeled anything, when women do the same they have a name for them. Women in third world countries have it even harder because of the cultural and traditional beliefs.
All i am trying to say is that, lets us change with time and be realistic. Encourage and educate each other about practicing safe sex and stop stigmatising people that are trying to make positive changes, especially women. HIV/AIDS does not have a special selection of who contracts it. If you have respect for human life, you will practice safe sex and avoid knowingly transmitting the virus. Get tested before deciding to get pregnant. If you are pregnant make sure you get medical care. Women be careful of someone who refuses to use protection and also as much as it will bother you if a long time partner suggests using condoms be appreciative, remember this person cares for you and is probably saving your life.
*Do not judge others.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Dilemma Of A Working Mom
Riding the A train from Manhattan to Brooklyn, I just finished my moonlight shift at 6:30am , Tuesday morning . I am little bit sleepy. I get my Ipod out, Tupac's Dear Mama is playing. Listening to the worlds of song makes wonder if my daughter will be able to understand why she had to spend some nights at a friends house when she grows up, like Tupac understood his mother's struggles as he says in the song. I am really rushing because as usual my relief at work was late. I have to get home by at at least 7:15 am so i can pick up my 4 yr old from my friends place where she spent the night.
Both my husband and i work in hotels, our schedules are just what most people wouldn't think of. On this particular morning my husband was starting work at 6:30am, he had to start off least an hour before and i will still be at work at that time. To avoid waking up my friend and my daughter early we decided to drop off my baby the night before.....she really cried she did not want me to go, she could stay with daddy she had said. She broke my heart, i had to stand there explaining to her why mommy and daddy have to work. Despite all this, we both have good health benefits and we are bringing in a little over $110 000 between the two of us. Honestly, does this justify anything? I try to make myself feel better about it by saying i am doing this for my children.
By 7:15am i am at my friends place, they buzz me in. This is two sisters with three kids between them, two girls aged 4 and a 3 yr old boy. The sisters are getting ready for work and one of them has to drop off her daughter at school. I have to stay with the kids for a little bit to wait for the babysitter for the three year old. Keep in mind i have not been to my house yet, though my daughter has been bathed she still has to be dressed. Lord, help me! Fortunately the babysitter is early, i take the other girl and my daughter with me. I never let my daughter go to school without having breakfast. Quick breakfast, scrambled eggs with cheese, cranberry juice and half a slice of toast each. My daughter does not like to eat, so i have to sit there begging her to eat. Her friend finishes her food, just to make sure my daughter is not starved i guiltily pick up the fork and start feeding her. 20 minutes to 9 we start off for school, luckily its a short walk of only about 4 minutes. Yeah! They are on time, i have to sleep as soon as i get back home. I picked them from school at 3pm and they stayed until 6:30pm before the girl's mom picked her up. I cooked dinner and took a nap from 7:30pm to 9:10pm because i have to leave for work by 10pm.
The night before the girls had spent a night at our place and then Monday morning at 6:30am the 3 yr old was dropped off, he refused to go back to sleep. I had to stay up with him, at 7:20am i fed him and 10 minutes later i woke up the girls. I bathed all 3, feed them. I dressed my daughter and one of the girls, she had left her cloths from a previous sleep over, when i was doing our laundry i had done theirs as well. At 8:30am one of the mothers got in from work. The kids and i walked down the block to their house, to get the other girl dressed for school.
Its 2:17am, i am at work right now. It should have been my night off but i switched with someone so i can have Saturday off. Sometimes i feel like a robot, i am behind with my school work. My husband is off today and tomorrow, i get break........ha not really we are have to have some quality time together. Then there is laundry, hair and nails to be done. Do i really have a day off, literally speaking i don't think so. Such is life .
Both my husband and i work in hotels, our schedules are just what most people wouldn't think of. On this particular morning my husband was starting work at 6:30am, he had to start off least an hour before and i will still be at work at that time. To avoid waking up my friend and my daughter early we decided to drop off my baby the night before.....she really cried she did not want me to go, she could stay with daddy she had said. She broke my heart, i had to stand there explaining to her why mommy and daddy have to work. Despite all this, we both have good health benefits and we are bringing in a little over $110 000 between the two of us. Honestly, does this justify anything? I try to make myself feel better about it by saying i am doing this for my children.
By 7:15am i am at my friends place, they buzz me in. This is two sisters with three kids between them, two girls aged 4 and a 3 yr old boy. The sisters are getting ready for work and one of them has to drop off her daughter at school. I have to stay with the kids for a little bit to wait for the babysitter for the three year old. Keep in mind i have not been to my house yet, though my daughter has been bathed she still has to be dressed. Lord, help me! Fortunately the babysitter is early, i take the other girl and my daughter with me. I never let my daughter go to school without having breakfast. Quick breakfast, scrambled eggs with cheese, cranberry juice and half a slice of toast each. My daughter does not like to eat, so i have to sit there begging her to eat. Her friend finishes her food, just to make sure my daughter is not starved i guiltily pick up the fork and start feeding her. 20 minutes to 9 we start off for school, luckily its a short walk of only about 4 minutes. Yeah! They are on time, i have to sleep as soon as i get back home. I picked them from school at 3pm and they stayed until 6:30pm before the girl's mom picked her up. I cooked dinner and took a nap from 7:30pm to 9:10pm because i have to leave for work by 10pm.
The night before the girls had spent a night at our place and then Monday morning at 6:30am the 3 yr old was dropped off, he refused to go back to sleep. I had to stay up with him, at 7:20am i fed him and 10 minutes later i woke up the girls. I bathed all 3, feed them. I dressed my daughter and one of the girls, she had left her cloths from a previous sleep over, when i was doing our laundry i had done theirs as well. At 8:30am one of the mothers got in from work. The kids and i walked down the block to their house, to get the other girl dressed for school.
Its 2:17am, i am at work right now. It should have been my night off but i switched with someone so i can have Saturday off. Sometimes i feel like a robot, i am behind with my school work. My husband is off today and tomorrow, i get break........ha not really we are have to have some quality time together. Then there is laundry, hair and nails to be done. Do i really have a day off, literally speaking i don't think so. Such is life .
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